father’s day: 1 day late June 16, 2008

He is attentive, generous with his time, helpful, engaged. He is the game-player, the wrestler, the ball-player. He excels at a game called CHASE. He makes up stories on demand. He turns the music up loud and quizzes k on BobDylan, JohnnyCash, BobMarley, and MickJagger. He loves to snuggle; lying with a child on his chest. He falls asleep first when putting k to bed.

When k was little, t would lament that k seemed to only want me (or rather, my milk). Now with f it’s the same and a little worse; she tends to scream for me and can smell me if I’m within 100 miles. I always thought: this too will change. They will grow and realize that he is so something worth wanting. They will start to say: Where’s dad? When is dad coming home? I want dad to read me stories. I want dad to put me to sleep. And indeed, that is what k says now. I imagine it will be the same as f grows.

He and I are very different and I am counting on him to expand their worlds like he did mine. So far, k is somewhat introverted and sensitive, as I am. I don’t want to change him into something different, but I want him to have exposure right now, every day, to another world view. . . . that life is big, beautiful, wide-open, full of experiences and people and food and places to be consumed.

I am lucky, I know, to have a partner in parenting. He doesn’t “babysit” k and f; he’s integral to their fun, their care, their sense of being and worth.

time +/or energy June 14, 2008

If only I had more time, and yes more energy, I would have so many more entries here. By the end of each day I am exhausted. Perhaps the downside of being a 41 year old new mother?

So what would I like to write about:

• Developmental updates for both k/f.
• K’s school updates.
• K all-of-a-sudden doing everything by himself.
• F being charming and delightful to all she surveys.
• Many the-things-they-say updates
• The daycare illnesses: A chronicle
• K’s budding fashion sense.
• K + F playing together are so funny.
• My severe lack of attention and other impending disasters.

For now, let me choose a couple to briefly update. . . . .

I have been trying to clear out old clothes, new clothes, clothes coming and clothes going. There are piles everywhere in every room. It could, yes it could, drive someone crazy. So I try. I finally cleared out some baby stuff of K’s and put it in the OUT pile. I came home last week to K wearing a cute little pair of capri-type pants. Then I thought to myself, he does not *own* any cute little capri-type pants. When he took them off that night I looked and yes, they were size 6month baby pants. My 3.5 year old can fit into 6month baby pants. He put on another pair yesterday but they couldn’t button, thankfully.

In related news he has quite recently (last week) taken to dressing himself 100%. And then undressing himself and re-dressing himself a couple of times a day. I’m not sure if this is fashion or just a simple pride in having mastered a new skill. Either way, I get a big kick out of it. I think the most we’ve seen is perhaps 3 or 4 new outfits in a day. He gets mad when T or I see him doing the changing. . . he wants it to be a surprise so he says, DON’T LOOK AT ME. And we can’t look until he’s done.

He’s quite newly self-sufficient in other ways too. I suppose this could be developmental or it could be his pre-school experience. But in the evening, he will go to the bathroom, wash his hands, brush his teeth . . . all by himself. We’re all quite pleased with this new independent behavior. I must mention though that last night the new independent behavior did prompt one phone call to poison control. You see, I’ve been letting k use adult toothpaste, you know with fluoride (which I guess is technically a poison). Last night in his flurry of independence he didn’t want me in the bathroom to watch his whole routine. I agreed. He was awfully quiet in there for quite some time; I should have been suspicious. He came out clean and smelling, no, reeking of toothpaste. Did you eat the toothpaste? Yes. How much? I don’t know. I looked at the tube and it was pretty squished down. Soooooooo, I called poison control because that’s what it says to do on the back of the toothpaste tube and if nothing else, I do follow directions. The man said how much did he eat? I said I don’t know. He said a teaspoon or half a tube? I said more like a teaspoon, but I don’t know. He said give him some milk; it will bind with the fluoride. He said based on his weight, he would have to eat 2ounces for detriment to occur. He said watch him and call back if he throws up in the next hour. So k drank the milk, went to bed, he never threw up, he lives today.

And one more thing, this final incident of the day was but one of many. K also decided to play hi-ho-cherry-o on the floor in the living room. Of course he didn’t pick UP all the cherry-os. I found them throughout the afternoon, scattered around F’s blanket and toys. Perhaps a choking hazard? Then later I was making dinner. K was playing and F in her saucer. I glanced over and thought, How nice that they are both content. Then I glanced over again and thought, What is F doing playing with a circus peanut. Well it was actually playdoh the color of a circus peanut. And yes I think she ate some. So I talk to k about all of these things. . . . . don’t leave the cherries around, be careful of small choke-able items, you can’t give playdoh to a baby. But at the end of the day *I* need to be more careful. Have I mentioned lately? This is hard work.